ME BIG BRO
My brother was a pretty cool brother, 5 years older, but he did take pleasure in doin crap to me sometimes. I remember real early we got a double barrel toy shotgun for xmas. Real old school toy with the corks on a string that went pop when they fired out. Exciting stuff!!
One day, soon after xmas, he came up to me, pulled the corks out of the barrels and told me to look down the barrels. They were full of bullants that he’d carefully collected, and when he fired both barrels they blasted into my face and swarmed all over my face and head biting me constantly. The old man put the axe thru the shotgun, bummer.
At Seymour High, he was a senior and I was a 1st yr. He would do shit like get into my locker, open my lunch and take out the ham or chicken from my sandwiches and eat it. Trouble was he would replace it with a sprinkle of sand and one time even sprinkled staples in them. That 1st bite would be really cool.
He would lock me in one of those grey lockers, the tall skinny ones. They would be in a bank of 6,7,8 or whatever. Him and his mates would lock me in, turn the whole bank around, and shove it back into the wall.
We started a new thing at school called recycling. Back then it was a brand new concept to recycle paper. We had this giant bale on a framework that was to be our very first bale, and the money was gonna go to something cool for the students, cant remember what. On the day when the first bale was full and due to be picked up the headmaster was makin a big deal of an assembly and speech bout recycling etc, and he was gonna tie up the final stitch in the bale. Blah, blah stuff.
Trouble is just before the ceremony got underway, me brother and his mates picked me up and upended me into the bale of paper. I was struggling to get out for awhile while they were having a fun time pushin me back in. Teachers and others suddenly started turning up for the ceremony, and then the headmaster appeared as well. “You move or make a sound and I’ll fkn kill ya, don’t fkn move”, me brother said. I was buried in the paper with the headmaster givin his speeches, and seemed the blah, blah went on forever. The ceremonial “stitching” finally happened, and a dude from the recycling co. came in with a big trolley thing and hoisted the bale and was off out of the school to much applause. I did’nt move a muscle till he was out on the road and had just hoisted me onto the truck. Then I just lost it, kicking and screaming to be let out. The truck dude freaked out lol, and let me out. Really funny shit when it’s not you eh.
The really cool part was that I was always claustrophobic, which my brother knew, and made it much funnier! From ants, to sand and paper bales, he doesn’t remember any of those things ever happening. Isn’t that funny he forgot those things, but I remembered them! Wonder how come? Lol. But don’t worry, I got the bastard back in so many ways eh. Weird to believe but we were really close and tight, but hey shit happens lol.
2008-08-29, 14:28
