I like this one:
(214): dude. I'm so drunk.
(972): pete, this is bryce's mom
(214): I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
(972): pete, this is still bryce's mom
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"There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary and those who don't."
"Humanity is quite amusing, when kept at a proper distance."- H. P. Lovecraft