TROUBLE ON THE TARMAC
I ended up in artillery, big guns with big bullets eh. Unreal to fire em, really good fun, very spectacular. Night firing was coolest, massive muzzle flash and the night sky just lighting up, especially when there was a couple of dozen going off at once! The noise was awesome eh.
A couple of thousand guys and a couple of regiments of artillery went on a huge camp for 6 weeks in Shoalwater bay in QLD. We convoyed there by truck and when it finished we were going to fly back to Townsville on a C130 Herculese aircraft. You see em on telly, big squat mothers where trucks and tanks and shit can drive up a ramp in the back. Got four huge propeller engines.
With our type of guns there were 7 dudes per gun, A seargent, corporal and 5 gunners. Also had our own truck and truckie to tow the gun and load shit on board. We were pretty famous for bein the slackest and most dangerous gun crew in the entire army. To ppls annoyance we were also famous for being the quickest and most accurate in the army as well, lol. (mainly due to the awesome no3 who controlled the angles and bearings, yes folks).
After 6 weeks in the bush it was time to head back, and we were excited it was all over, hangin out for a real shower, real food and some night life. The only luxury we had out bush was a constant supply of dope which a bunch of us were never without. I really hated the army and dope was the only way I put up with it.
Everyone knew that with everyone getting back to base and hitting the showers at the same time that hot water was gonna be scarce, and everyone was really hangin out for a good shower. There was gonna be a big race as to which crews could get back 1st.
At the airport before boarding we had a huge talk bout air safety, all the do’s and don’ts about airforce shit. One big rule was that no-one was to undo any of the massive straps tying down the truck and gun.
Do not undo any of the ties until the aircraft has come to a complete standstill.
Yeh, yeh, whatever.
The flight back was cool, flying over the barrier reef really low, looked unreal.
The split second the wheels hit the ground in Townsville our seargent said to untie the gun and truck and get ready to roll. We were determined to be first back. We had reversed the truck and gun on so we could just drive off, the second the ramp dropped. As we hurtled across the runway the gun and truck was gently rocking back and forth now that it was free. We were still doing bout 180 ks when suddenly the pilots had to hit the brakes. Whoops!
That’s when everything about the day changed.
The truck and gun shot backwards at incredible speed. The barrel tore thru the navigators wall, into his little space, thru his back wall and exploded into the cockpit. We see special effects in the movies with sparks and explosions and fireballs and shit and it’s always overdone and you never see that in real life.
Well, this was the exception, what a fkn blast! The sheets of blue sparks exploding from the walls was awesome, sheets of flame, little explosions going off constantly the noise was deafening. The pilots would have freaked and shat emselves to have a massive gun barrel explode thru their wall into their cockpit in a shower of sparks and flames, to end up between em.
The four engines shutdown one after the other till the plane just ground to a halt, totally fucked. By now smoke was filling the aircraft and you couldn’t see. We only had visibility by the light of the huge blue flashes still goin off. As the plane stopped the rear ramp fell down. Our seargent was like “ok boys lets hit them showers, get on board and lets go”. Our truckie, (who was always shitfaced) started her up, we all leapt on board and hit it!
We took off across the tarmac shooting past firetrucks and other vehicles that were hurtling the other way towards the disaster, sirens blaring and lights flashing!
We got back to camp, showered and changed and headed for town before the Military Police even got to camp.
They ended up with a military enquiry, an airforce enquiry, a civilian air safety enquiry and there were calls for a royal commission even. Such a fuss over a few million bucks! Get over it dudes lol.
They always look for a scapegoat in these siuations and unfortunately our airforce crewman on board was having a nap when the hell broke loose. Why wouldn’t he have a snooze, short flight, just another boring routine day for him! It turned into major event in the end, shit hit the fan big time.
But hey, alls well that ends well. For us it was…..MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.!!!
Who won the race to get back to camp?
Who got in the showers first?
YEAH! THAT’S RIGHT!
2008-08-29, 14:15
