HOW OR WHY I JOINED
Was in Adelaide livin with me best mate at that time (max) and unfortunately I had spent way too long partaking in things that I shouldnt have. Too many drugs for too long and one afternoon I totally lost it.
I became aware that it was the end of the world (armageddon) and for some reason I had been chosen to inform the world that the end was coming. I knew that max would be experiencing the same knowledge and awareness (which he was'nt of course, just me) and I ran screaming maniachly into the hallway. I still remember him looking at me with a look of horror lol. Everything was in super slow motion and in my minds eye it took 6oo years to make it down the hallway! By then I was screaming that the end was here after that 600 year journey, and he was just fkn stunned and didnt know what to do.
I remember him looking at a joint he was smoking and he threw it down, never to touch dope again in his life lol.
I then ran screaming into the street in time to see the buildings everywhere crumbling to dust.....It had started!!!! A bunch of little kids were playing on the footpath and I yelled at them to go home to their families before it was too late and they took off terrified of the weird screaming dude. I couldnt understand why we had been chosen to warn the world and kept screaming....why us?, why us?
After a few hours of all this max settled me down, I was totally drained and somehow I slept that night. The next morning I awoke horrified to hear that same bunch of kids outside my window. (terrace house with no front yard) The little kids were all chanting over and over, "why us, why us, why us". Fkn freaked me out and I threw open the door and they took off terrified again. I looked around and all the rubble and dust was gone, the buildings had returned and all was normal!
Instead of realising it had never happened, I realised I had had a premonition of the future of course, and it would all crumble soon. I quit work ready for my new full time job of warning the world. Max quit his job to spend most of his time babysitting me and costantly searching the house everyday destroying the drugs I kept rebuying, trying to get me to straighten up. I never took any more of that particular stuff but stayed in that same zone for some time.
I would wander thru the city streets warning people the end was near and they should simply quit everything and just spend time with their loved ones, until Max would find me and take me home. I had a really cool motorbike* that Max would'nt let me ride and he confiscated the keys. I could only pillion on the back. I remember one day on the back we stopped at the lights in the city and I just got off and started preaching to anyone that would listen. Max had to hurriedly find a parking spot and grab me. The poor bugger really didnt know what to do with me as by now this stuff had been going on for six weeks.
One day we were walking the city steets, walked past the Army recruiting office and he said "we should join the army", I just said "ok", and we did!!!!! The process took about two weeks with medicals and shit, and then we were on the bus and on our way.
I was in the army for 3 horrible weeks when I woke up with a start at three twenty in the morning and sat bolt upright in bed. I looked around and didnt recognise anything and wondered where the fuck I was. I leapt out of bed, realised I was sharing a room with three other dudes, threw open me cupboard door and saw nothing but army clothes and a fucken rifle! I panicked and bolted into Max's room and shook him awake. He was looking at me horrified wondering wtf?
I said "mate, dont bullshit me, I'm gonna ask you a couple of questions and I want straight fkn answers" "firstly, tell me where we are" He replied "Kapooka" I said "is'nt that the army rooky camp? Of course he said "yes", I said "why are we in fucken Kapooka?" He said "cos we are in the army man" I totally freaked!. It's weird, I remember joining and some of the events, but didnt at the same time eh. I stayed awake the rest of the night and as soon as the corporal came in to wake everyone I put in seven days notice. I was informed I couldnt and I was in for three years. I told him I was outta there in seven days so he sent me to the next highest rank who sent me to the next etc, until I was standing in front of the commanding officer, a colonel, and gave him a weeks notice.
Here is where my story of the army really begins lol.
I later found out where I had been mentally for nearly three months was called..."a drug induced psychotic episode"
Listen kiddies, drugsrbad mmmmmmmk?
*Used to play snooker professionally for a while, they are not around much anymore, but I used to run three different snooker rooms in Sydney... Chatswood, Manly and Crowsnest. Used to coach it and shit too, the motorbike was when a dude lost a $1500 dollar bet and gave me his brand new bike instead of the cash. Sweet. Big bucks in 1975 lol. Theres a few weird snooker stories and a couple of funny ones concerning the motorbike too lol.
2008-08-29, 14:13
except no new GPU, grr, I should probably order one about nowish